when i was really yound i think i wanted to be a teacher or a vet. later on, i came to integrate the concept of needing to make ends meet (ou gagner sa vie en bon francais), i chose socially acceptable answers to the usually what do you want to be when you grow up. i thought up of answers that would make my dad proud, up until those rebellious years where i thought up of answers that would completly piss him off. and then i settled for something in between.

it's funny because these days i find myself meeting grown ups who are faced again with the infamous what do you want to be when you grow up. some of them have had the same job for the better part of their lives, some others have tried different things before ending up accross the desk from me.

some are looking for something that they are passionate about, some a looking for a specific number of dollar signs, no nights or weekends, a place i could bike to, something where i can just sit down and not do much, i just want to stay home and take care of my daughters. all kinds of answers, all of them right.

i think sometime how much of our identity depends on what we do for a living. i mean, i see truck drivers who've been in the business for the longest time. they are completely shattered when they loose their job because they can no longer say i'm a trucker. they dealt with the ups and downs of their hard line of work, but still felt a sense of pride when talking about their way of earning a living.

on the other end, though i remember how i was taught a long time ago that i needed to find something i was passionate about. truly. really. and i remember being really anxious about never finding that one thing. never being able to say i'm this or that, with the same assurance as my trucker did. maybe i've learn to deal with that uncertainty, that fluidity of being someone whose identity will most likely still be in progress in the years to come. but i go to work every day not really questioning if i'll be there the next day, or year. am i starting to get settle? am i letting down my guard and being uncritical about my personal objectives or did i find my niche?